Therapy is often misunderstood. Thanks to movies, social media, and cultural stereotypes many people have a skewed idea of what therapy actually involves. Some think it’s just getting advice, others believe it’s only for people in crisis, and many assume that talking about problems will make them worse. These misconceptions can prevent people from seeking the support they need. Let’s set the record straight and debunk some of the most common myths about therapy. 

Myth #1: Therapy Is Just Advice-Giving

Reality: Therapy is not about someone telling you what to do or offering quick-fix solutions. Instead, it’s a collaborative process where you and your therapist work together to explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The goal is to help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, uncovering patterns and barriers that may be holding you back. Through this process, your therapist provides personalized tools, strategies, and insights tailored to your unique situation. By gaining self-awareness you can make choices that align with your values and goals, giving you tools and empowering you to create meaningful change in your life.

Myth #2: Therapy Is Just Like Talking to a Friend or Family Member

Reality: While talking to a friend or family member can offer emotional support, therapy is a distinct, professional process that brings specialized training, techniques, and expertise to the conversation. Unlike casual discussions, therapy provides a safe and structured environment where you can explore your thoughts and emotions in depth, without fear of judgment. Therapists are skilled at helping you identify patterns, develop effective coping strategies, and navigate complex feelings, all while keeping your best interests at the forefront. While friends and family can offer support, therapy offers expertise and objectivity that lead to deeper insight and lasting change. Additionally, because therapy is removed from your personal relationships, it creates a unique space to focus solely on yourself. This allows for authentic self-exploration, free from concerns about how your thoughts or feelings might impact others, while also receiving unbiased feedback from a trained professional.

Myth #3: Talking About Things Doesn’t Really Change Anything 

Reality: In a society where we often seek quick fixes like pills, potions, procedures, or special tools, it’s easy to overlook the power of talking things through. Therapy isn’t just about venting or recounting difficult experiences, it’s about creating understanding and learning new ways to approach life’s challenges. By discussing your thoughts and emotions with a trained professional, you gain clarity, insight, and a deeper understanding of yourself. This process helps you identify patterns, develop coping strategies, and ultimately find healthier ways to navigate difficult situations. Therapy also provides powerful tools, techniques, and strategies tailored to your unique needs.

Beyond the emotional benefits, there’s a growing body of research showing how therapy can physically change the way the brain processes information. Studies suggest therapy can reduce the reactivity of the amygdala, the brain’s center for fear and stress, leading to a calmer response to triggers. It can also increase activity in the frontal lobe, which is responsible for decision-making, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. This shift creates a better balance between the amygdala and frontal lobe, promoting healthier emotional responses. These brain changes are not just theoretical, they’re supported by scientific evidence demonstrating how therapy can help regulate stress hormones like cortisol, lower stress levels, and increase resilience. It can also boost the production of feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin, improving mood and fostering connection. Additionally, therapy has been shown to enhance immune function, reduce inflammation, and improve sleep contributing to better overall physical health. Talking things through in therapy isn’t just about managing emotions, it’s a powerful tool for healing that impacts both the mind and body. With research supporting its lasting effects, therapy can be a crucial step toward healing, growth, and overall well-being.  

Myth #4: Talking About Problems Makes Them Worse

Reality: Avoiding difficult emotions doesn’t make them go away, in fact, it often makes them stronger. Therapy provides a safe space to face and manage distressing thoughts and emotions skillfully, helping to reduce their intensity and frequency over time. Just like we learn to read, drive a car, or develop skills for our jobs, understanding how to navigate our emotions and thoughts effectively is something we must learn and practice. Simply experiencing emotions doesn’t mean we automatically know how to manage them, but with guidance and repetition, we can build the skills to handle them in a healthier way. By understanding and working through challenges, you gain greater control over them, rather than feeling controlled by them.

Myth #5: Therapy Is Only for People in Crisis

Reality: While therapy can be essential for those experiencing severe distress, it’s not just for crisis situations. Many people seek therapy to address everyday challenges such as managing stress, gaining clarity, or building healthier habits. Therapy is a space where you can develop new skills and approaches to navigate life’s ups and downs. Just as we learn new skills to tackle everyday tasks, therapy can help you manage life’s challenges with more ease and resilience. You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable to benefit from therapy.

Myth #6: Therapy Is a Never-Ending Process

Reality: Therapy isn’t meant to last forever. It’s designed to provide you with tools to navigate life’s challenges independently. Just like a doctor helps treat an illness or injury with the goal of recovery, therapy supports emotional and mental well-being by helping you build lasting skills. People engage in therapy for as long as they find it helpful and are working toward their goals, whether that means a short-term focus on a specific issue or longer-term support for deeper personal growth.

Myth #7: If I’m Strong, I Should Handle Things on My Own

Reality: Seeking therapy isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of self-awareness and strength. Just like a doctor conducts lab work and physical exams to diagnose what’s happening in the body before recommending treatment, therapy helps us understand what’s happening in our minds and bodies, how it affects us, and how to manage it effectively. We aren’t born knowing how to navigate difficult emotions or unhelpful thoughts, these are skills we must learn just like reading, driving, or mastering a profession. Therapy provides a space to develop those skills, giving us the tools to process experiences, respond in healthier ways, and ultimately improve our mental and emotional well-being.

Therapy: A Space for Growth, Not Just “Fixing” Problems 

Therapy isn’t about someone telling you how to live your life. It’s about helping you uncover patterns, explore possibilities, and develop skills that empower you to live in alignment with your values. Whether you’re navigating a difficult time or simply want to understand yourself better, therapy can be a transformative tool for growth. If you’re considering therapy and want to learn more, contact Dr. Oren at 775-525-8100 today to explore how therapy can support your journey. 

This post Debunking Common Myths About Therapy: What It Really Is (and Isn’t) first appeared on Dr. Yelena Oren | Licensed Psychologist and is written by Dr. Yelena Oren

Have you ever felt your heart race, muscles tense, or mind go blank in a moment of stress? That’s your body’s built-in alarm system of the fight-flight-freeze response kicking in. This automatic survival mechanism has helped humans respond to danger for thousands of years, but in modern life, it often activates in situations where physical threats are not present. While it’s a normal and necessary function, there are many misconceptions about what it is, how it works, and what we can do to manage it effectively. 

What Is the Fight-Flight-Freeze Response?

The fight-flight-freeze response is the body’s way of preparing to handle perceived danger. It’s an automatic reaction triggered by the autonomic nervous system, specifically the sympathetic nervous system, which releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These changes help us react quickly whether by fighting, fleeing, or freezing. 

• Fight: Your body prepares to confront the threat head-on, increasing strength, focus, and aggression. 
• Flight: Your system urges you to escape, making you feel restless, jittery, or hyper-aware of your surroundings. 
• Freeze: Your body temporarily shuts down movement, making you feel paralyzed or numb as it assesses the situation. 

Each response serves a purpose, but in modern life, our brains sometimes misinterpret everyday stressors such as work deadlines, social conflicts, or public speaking as life-threatening, triggering this reaction unnecessarily.

Common Myths About the Fight-Flight-Freeze Response

Myth 1: You Can Control It Through Willpower

Reality: The response is automatic and happens before you consciously process the situation. While you can’t stop it from activating, you can learn strategies to regulate its effects. 

Myth 2: Freezing Means You’re Weak

Reality: Freezing is a survival response, just like fight or flight. It can be a highly adaptive reaction, giving your brain time to assess danger before deciding on action. 

Myth 3: The Response Is Always Bad

Reality: The fight-flight-freeze response is essential for survival. Problems arise when it’s overactive or triggered in non-threatening situations. Learning how to manage it can help you use its benefits without letting it control you.

Why Should You Care?

Chronic activation of the fight-flight-freeze response can contribute to long-term stress, anxiety, and physical health issues like high blood pressure and weakened immune function. When your body remains in a heightened state too often, it struggles to return to baseline, leading to exhaustion, mood swings, sleep problems, increased pain, and difficulty concentrating. Understanding this response can help you manage stress more effectively, improving both mental and physical well-being. 

What Can You Do About It?

• Engage the Parasympathetic Nervous System 
  This is the body’s rest and digest system, which counteracts the fight-flight-freeze response. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness can help shift your body out of high alert. 
• Reframe the Threat 
  When you feel your response activate, ask yourself: “Is this a real danger, or just a stressful situation?” Recognizing that your brain is reacting to a false alarm can help you feel more in control. 
• Move Your Body 
  Physical activity helps release built-up stress hormones and signals to your brain that the threat has passed. A short walk, stretching, or even shaking out your arms and legs can reset your system. 
• Build Emotional Awareness 
  Understanding your triggers and emotional responses can help you anticipate and manage reactions more effectively. Journaling, therapy, or self-reflection can be helpful tools. 
• Seek Professional Support When Needed 
  If your fight-flight-freeze response is interfering with daily life, therapy can help. Approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Mindfulness-Based Therapies can provide effective tools to manage and reframe your body’s stress response.

Final Thoughts

The fight-flight-freeze response is a powerful, automatic survival mechanism, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding how it works and learning ways to regulate it, you can respond to stress in healthier, more adaptive ways. Small shifts in awareness and coping strategies can help you regain a sense of balance allowing you to navigate challenges with greater ease and resilience. 

By taking steps to support your nervous system, you’re not just managing stress, you’re building a stronger foundation for overall well-being. 

Understanding the fight-flight-freeze response allows you to take control of your reactions, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being. Dr. Oren emphasizes the importance of recognizing when this response is triggered and using strategies to regulate it, helping you build resilience and face challenges more effectively. Don’t let outdated myths or automatic reactions control your well-being, take proactive steps to support your nervous system, manage stress, and restore balance. Start today with mindfulness, deep breathing, or movement to calm your system. The more you practice, the better equipped you’ll be to handle stress with clarity and confidence. If you need additional support with stress, anxiety, or trauma, therapy can help. Call Dr. Oren at 775-525-8100 to begin your path to lasting relief. 

Your body is wired to protect you, but you have the power to guide its response. 

Learn More: Expert Advice and References

• American Psychological Association (APA) 
  Understanding the fight-flight-freeze response and its effects on mental and physical health. 
  https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/body 
• Bracha, H. S. (2004). Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fright, Faint: Adaptationist Perspectives on the Acute Stress Response Spectrum. CNS Spectrums, 9(9), 679–685. 
  An expanded view of the fight-or-flight response, including freeze and faint reactions. 
  https://doi.org/10.1017/S1092852900001954 
• Harvard Health Publishing 
  How chronic stress impacts the body and what to do about it. 
  https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response 
• National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) 
  Information on how the brain and body respond to stress and strategies for coping. 
  https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/stress 
• Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers (3rd ed.). Henry Holt and Company. 
  A comprehensive and engaging look at how chronic stress affects health, with practical insights on managing stress effectively. 
  https://www.amazon.com/Why-Zebras-Dont-Ulcers-Third/dp/0805073698 

This post Understanding the Fight Flight Freeze Response: Myths, Science, and How to Navigate It first appeared on Dr. Yelena Oren | Licensed Psychologist and is written by Dr. Yelena Oren

Life can be challenging, and sometimes the weight of those challenges feels too heavy to bear alone. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, knowing how to offer support during tough times can make a big difference. While you can’t always solve someone else’s problems, your presence, empathy, and encouragement can be a lifeline. This newsletter aims to provide practical ways to help others navigate difficult moments, offering them the support they need while also taking care of yourself in the process.

Catching the Subtle Signs That Someone Might Be Struggling

Behavioral Signs

Avoidance and Withdrawal

• Isolating from family, friends, or social activities
• Avoiding responsibilities or previously enjoyed activities
• Difficulty maintaining work or school performance
• Neglecting personal hygiene or self-care

Changes in Daily Functioning

• Irregular sleep patterns (sleeping too much or too little)
• Significant changes in eating habits (over-eating or under-eating)
• Increased use of substances (alcohol, drugs, nicotine)
• Engaging in reckless or impulsive behaviorsIsolating from family, friends, or social activities
• Avoiding responsibilities or previously enjoyed activities

Emotional Reactivity and Mood Instability

• Frequent irritability or anger outbursts
• Heightened sensitivity to stress or criticism
• Excessive crying or emotional numbness
• Sudden mood swings

Cognitive and Thought-Related Symptoms

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Persistent negative thoughts or excessive worry
• Expressing hopelessness or feeling worthless
• Rumination or obsessive thinking patterns

Compulsive or Self-Destructive Behaviors

• Engaging in self-harm (cutting, burning, etc.)
• Repetitive behaviors (compulsions, checking, counting)
• Risk-taking or self-sabotaging actions
• Verbalizing thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Heightened Anxiety or Hypervigilance

• Avoiding certain places, people, or activities due to fear
• Constantly checking surroundings or feeling “on edge”
• Difficulty relaxing or unwinding

Interpersonal Struggles

• Increased conflicts with family, friends, or coworkers
• Difficulty maintaining relationships
• Acting withdrawn or disconnected in conversations

Physical Signs

• Persistent fatigue or low energy
• Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleep)
• Muscle tension or aches
• Headaches or migraines
• Skin issues (acne, eczema, hives)
• Chest tightness or discomfort
• Changes in appetite (increased or decreased)
• Unexplained weight loss or gain
• Gastrointestinal issues (nausea, diarrhea, constipation)
• Hypervigilance (feeling constantly on edge)
• Startle response or jumpiness
• Numbness or tingling

Emotional Signs

• Persistent sadness or low mood
• Excessive worry or fear
• Irritability or frequent frustration
• Feeling overwhelmed or hopeless
• Difficulty experiencing pleasure
• Mood swings or emotional instability
• Excessive guilt or self-criticism
• Feeling disconnected or emotionally numb
• Increased sensitivity to rejection or criticism
• A sense of emptiness or lack of purpose

Recognizing the signs that someone is struggling is the first step in offering meaningful support. Behavioral, physical, and emotional changes can all indicate that someone is going through a tough time, even if they haven’t explicitly said so. By being mindful of these signs, you can approach them with understanding and empathy, creating an environment where they feel safe and supported to share their struggles.

Recognizing the signs that someone is struggling is the first step in offering meaningful support. Behavioral, physical, and emotional changes can all indicate that someone is going through a tough time, even if they haven’t explicitly said so. By being mindful of these signs, you can approach them with understanding and empathy, creating an environment where they feel safe and supported to share their struggles.

Effective Ways to Offer Support 

1. Initiate a conversation

• Choose an appropriate time and setting: Find a quiet, private space where you both feel comfortable and there are minimal distractions. Timing is important, so choose a moment when the person is not already overwhelmed or in crisis.
• Approach with empathy and non-judgment: Be kind and non-judgmental. Express genuine concern for their well-being without making assumptions or offering immediate solutions.
• Use open-ended questions: Ask open-ended, non-confrontational questions like, “How have you been feeling lately?” or “I’ve noticed you seem a bit down. How are things going?” This allows the person to open up on their terms.
• Listen actively: Listen with full attention, maintaining eye contact, and showing empathy through body language. Avoid interrupting or rushing to offer advice, as it’s important they feel heard.
• Normalize their experience: Acknowledge their feelings without minimizing or trying to solve them, e.g., “That sounds really tough.” Remember, you do not need to solve or change their feelings. Validation is letting someone know that their emotions make sense based on what they’re going through, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them. It’s like saying, “I get why you feel this way” or “Your feelings are understandable.” Validation helps people feel heard and supported, which can make them feel less alone in their emotions.
• Share your experience: If you feel comfortable and it’s relevant, share what you did when you felt this way.
• Offer your support: Let them know you’re there for them. You might say something like, “If you ever want to talk or need anything, I’m here for you.”
• Respect boundaries: Be mindful of their comfort level. If they are not ready to talk, respect their space and let them know you’re available when they are.
• Offer resources: If appropriate, suggest professional resources like therapy or helplines. You could say, “If you ever feel like talking to someone more, there are professionals who can help.”
• Follow up: Check in with them after the conversation to show continued support. This helps reinforce that you care and are available for future support.
  
  By approaching the conversation with care, patience, and empathy, you can create a space that encourages them to seek help they need.

2. Offer practical help

• Assist with daily tasks: Offering help with tasks like grocery shopping, cooking meals, or helping with household chores can alleviate stress.
• Accompany to appointments: Going with the person to therapy sessions, medical appointments, or support groups can offer emotional support and make the experience feel less overwhelming.
• Offer transportation: Helping with transportation to and from appointments or errands can be especially valuable if the person is feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or lacks the resources.
• Provide reminders: Gently reminding them about appointments, taking medication, or practicing coping skills can ensure they stay on track with their mental health care.
• Encourage healthy routines: Offering support to create and maintain routines, such as suggesting a regular sleep schedule or encouraging physical activity, can be especially helpful.
• Listen and provide emotional support: Offering a listening ear without judgment, helping them process their emotions, and providing reassurance when needed.
• Be patient and flexible: Understanding that there may be days when they are too fatigued or overwhelmed to engage and adjusting expectations accordingly.
• Offer respite care: If the person is a caregiver or parent, helping with childcare or offering time for them to rest can be incredibly valuable.
  
  The key is to tailor the help to the individual’s needs and preferences, and to do so in a way that maintains person’s autonomy and dignity while offering practical support.

Help Without the Burnout: How to Take Care of Yourself While Helping Others

Supporting others, whether friends, family members, or colleagues, is a noble and rewarding endeavor. However, in the process of caring for others, it’s easy to neglect your own well-being. If you find yourself frequently caring for others, it’s crucial to recognize that your own mental, emotional, and physical health is just as important. Here’s how to look after yourself while helping others.

1. Set Boundaries
   One of the most important things you can do for both yourself and the people you’re helping is to set clear boundaries. It’s tempting to say “yes” to every request or offer help beyond your limits, but overcommitting can lead to burnout. Determine what you can reasonably offer without sacrificing your own well-being. This will allow you to give your best without overextending yourself.
2. Recognize Your Own Needs
   It’s essential to stay aware of your own needs while you focus on helping others. Pay attention to your emotional, mental, and physical state. Are you feeling drained? Are you experiencing frustration or emotional exhaustion? Taking time to acknowledge and address your own feelings ensures that you are not suppressing your needs while supporting others.
3. Practice Self-Care
   Self-care isn’t just a buzzword. Taking care of yourself doesn’t only mean getting enough sleep or eating nutritious foods, though these are important. It also includes activities that replenish you, whether that’s reading, going out for a walk, enjoying hobbies, meditating, or hanging out with friends or family. Carve out time in your day to nurture yourself and recharge.
4. Seek Support
   Helping others can be emotionally taxing, and sometimes you may need someone to lean on too. Don’t hesitate to seek support from a friend, family, therapist, or support group. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others who understand can provide relief and prevent you from feeling isolated.
5. Manage Stress Effectively
   Helping others through difficult situations can generate significant stress. To manage this effectively, develop strategies to cope with stress. Techniques like mindfulness, breathing exercises, and journaling can help you process difficult emotions and maintain a sense of calm.
6. Don’t Neglect Your Social Life
   Helping others should not isolate you. Engage in social activities that bring joy and connection. Whether it’s spending time with friends, attending social events, or simply relaxing with loved ones, maintaining your social life will keep you balanced and help you maintain perspective.
7. Know When to Step Back
   Sometimes, the best way to help is by knowing when to step back. If the situation is overwhelming or the person you’re helping is not responding positively, it’s okay to take a break. This allows you to re-center yourself before re-engaging. Stepping back isn’t a failure, it’s a way to preserve your energy and mental health for the long term.
8. Reflect on Your Efforts
   It’s easy to get caught up in the daily routine of helping others, but it’s important to take a moment to reflect on the impact you’re making. Recognize your efforts and give yourself credit for the positive difference you are making in others’ lives. This can also help prevent feelings of burnout or frustration when things don’t go as planned.

Helping others is rewarding, and it’s essential to take care of yourself along the way. By recognizing your own needs, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support you can continue to help others without losing sight of your own well-being. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup – taking care of yourself ensures that you can continue to be there for others.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a friend or colleague who’s going through a tough time takes kindness, empathy, and patience. By being attentive to the signs, offering a compassionate ear, providing support, and gently guiding them toward professional help, you can make a meaningful difference in their healing process. Remember, the power of support lies in the small, consistent actions we take. Reach out to someone today, whether through a simple text, a heartfelt conversation, or helping them take the next step towards getting help they need. Your support could be the turning point they need. Just as important, don’t forget to prioritize your own well-being while offering support to others – self-care is key to sustaining your ability to help.

Keep spreading those PAWSitive vibes!

Reference

This article was written by Dr. Yelena Oren and originally published in the March 3, 2025 Nevada PAW newsletter.

For more information on the Nevada PAW Society and the great work they do, visit their website at https://www.nevadapawsociety.org

This post The Power of Support: Helping Others Through Tough Times first appeared on Dr. Yelena Oren | Licensed Psychologist and is written by Dr. Yelena Oren