Life can be challenging, and sometimes the weight of those challenges feels too heavy to bear alone. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, knowing how to offer support during tough times can make a big difference. While you can’t always solve someone else’s problems, your presence, empathy, and encouragement can be a lifeline. This newsletter aims to provide practical ways to help others navigate difficult moments, offering them the support they need while also taking care of yourself in the process.

Catching the Subtle Signs That Someone Might Be Struggling

Behavioral Signs

Avoidance and Withdrawal

Isolating from family, friends, or social activities
Avoiding responsibilities or previously enjoyed activities
Difficulty maintaining work or school performance
Neglecting personal hygiene or self-care

Changes in Daily Functioning

Irregular sleep patterns (sleeping too much or too little)
Significant changes in eating habits (over-eating or under-eating)
Increased use of substances (alcohol, drugs, nicotine)
Engaging in reckless or impulsive behaviorsIsolating from family, friends, or social activities
Avoiding responsibilities or previously enjoyed activities

Emotional Reactivity and Mood Instability

Frequent irritability or anger outbursts
Heightened sensitivity to stress or criticism
Excessive crying or emotional numbness
Sudden mood swings

Cognitive and Thought-Related Symptoms

Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Persistent negative thoughts or excessive worry
Expressing hopelessness or feeling worthless
Rumination or obsessive thinking patterns

Compulsive or Self-Destructive Behaviors

Engaging in self-harm (cutting, burning, etc.)
Repetitive behaviors (compulsions, checking, counting)
Risk-taking or self-sabotaging actions
Verbalizing thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Heightened Anxiety or Hypervigilance

Avoiding certain places, people, or activities due to fear
Constantly checking surroundings or feeling “on edge”
Difficulty relaxing or unwinding

Interpersonal Struggles

Increased conflicts with family, friends, or coworkers
Difficulty maintaining relationships
Acting withdrawn or disconnected in conversations

Physical Signs

Persistent fatigue or low energy
Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleep)
Muscle tension or aches
Headaches or migraines
Skin issues (acne, eczema, hives)
Chest tightness or discomfort
Changes in appetite (increased or decreased)
Unexplained weight loss or gain
Gastrointestinal issues (nausea, diarrhea, constipation)
Hypervigilance (feeling constantly on edge)
Startle response or jumpiness
Numbness or tingling

Emotional Signs

Persistent sadness or low mood
Excessive worry or fear
Irritability or frequent frustration
Feeling overwhelmed or hopeless
Difficulty experiencing pleasure
Mood swings or emotional instability
Excessive guilt or self-criticism
Feeling disconnected or emotionally numb
Increased sensitivity to rejection or criticism
A sense of emptiness or lack of purpose

Recognizing the signs that someone is struggling is the first step in offering meaningful support. Behavioral, physical, and emotional changes can all indicate that someone is going through a tough time, even if they haven’t explicitly said so. By being mindful of these signs, you can approach them with understanding and empathy, creating an environment where they feel safe and supported to share their struggles.

Effective Ways to Offer Support

Initiate a conversation

Choose an appropriate time and setting: Find a quiet, private space where you both feel comfortable and there are minimal distractions. Timing is important, so choose a moment when the person is not already overwhelmed or in crisis.
Approach with empathy and non-judgment: Be kind and non-judgmental. Express genuine concern for their well-being without making assumptions or offering immediate solutions.
Use open-ended questions: Ask open-ended, non-confrontational questions like, “How have you been feeling lately?” or “I’ve noticed you seem a bit down. How are things going?” This allows the person to open up on their terms.
Listen actively: Listen with full attention, maintaining eye contact, and showing empathy through body language. Avoid interrupting or rushing to offer advice, as it’s important they feel heard.
Normalize their experience: Acknowledge their feelings without minimizing or trying to solve them, e.g., “That sounds really tough.” Remember, you do not need to solve or change their feelings. Validation is letting someone know that their emotions make sense based on what they’re going through, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them. It’s like saying, “I get why you feel this way” or “Your feelings are understandable.” Validation helps people feel heard and supported, which can make them feel less alone in their emotions.
Share your experience: If you feel comfortable and it’s relevant, share what you did when you felt this way.
Offer your support: Let them know you’re there for them. You might say something like, “If you ever want to talk or need anything, I’m here for you.”
Respect boundaries: Be mindful of their comfort level. If they are not ready to talk, respect their space and let them know you’re available when they are.
Offer resources: If appropriate, suggest professional resources like therapy or helplines. You could say, “If you ever feel like talking to someone more, there are professionals who can help.”
Follow up: Check in with them after the conversation to show continued support. This helps reinforce that you care and are available for future support.

By approaching the conversation with care, patience, and empathy, you can create a space that encourages them to seek help they need.

Offer practical help

Assist with daily tasks: Offering help with tasks like grocery shopping, cooking meals, or helping with household chores can alleviate stress.
Accompany to appointments: Going with the person to therapy sessions, medical appointments, or support groups can offer emotional support and make the experience feel less overwhelming.
Offer transportation: Helping with transportation to and from appointments or errands can be especially valuable if the person is feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or lacks the resources.
Provide reminders: Gently reminding them about appointments, taking medication, or practicing coping skills can ensure they stay on track with their mental health care.
Encourage healthy routines: Offering support to create and maintain routines, such as suggesting a regular sleep schedule or encouraging physical activity, can be especially helpful.
Listen and provide emotional support: Offering a listening ear without judgment, helping them process their emotions, and providing reassurance when needed.
Be patient and flexible: Understanding that there may be days when they are too fatigued or overwhelmed to engage and adjusting expectations accordingly.
Offer respite care: If the person is a caregiver or parent, helping with childcare or offering time for them to rest can be incredibly valuable.

The key is to tailor the help to the individual’s needs and preferences, and to do so in a way that maintains person’s autonomy and dignity while offering practical support.

Help Without the Burnout: How to Take Care of Yourself While Helping Others

Supporting others, whether friends, family members, or colleagues, is a noble and rewarding endeavor. However, in the process of caring for others, it’s easy to neglect your own well-being. If you find yourself frequently caring for others, it’s crucial to recognize that your own mental, emotional, and physical health is just as important. Here’s how to look after yourself while helping others.

Set Boundaries
One of the most important things you can do for both yourself and the people you’re helping is to set clear boundaries. It’s tempting to say “yes” to every request or offer help beyond your limits, but overcommitting can lead to burnout. Determine what you can reasonably offer without sacrificing your own well-being. This will allow you to give your best without overextending yourself.
Recognize Your Own Needs
It’s essential to stay aware of your own needs while you focus on helping others. Pay attention to your emotional, mental, and physical state. Are you feeling drained? Are you experiencing frustration or emotional exhaustion? Taking time to acknowledge and address your own feelings ensures that you are not suppressing your needs while supporting others.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care isn’t just a buzzword. Taking care of yourself doesn’t only mean getting enough sleep or eating nutritious foods, though these are important. It also includes activities that replenish you, whether that’s reading, going out for a walk, enjoying hobbies, meditating, or hanging out with friends or family. Carve out time in your day to nurture yourself and recharge.
Seek Support
Helping others can be emotionally taxing, and sometimes you may need someone to lean on too. Don’t hesitate to seek support from a friend, family, therapist, or support group. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others who understand can provide relief and prevent you from feeling isolated.
Manage Stress Effectively
Helping others through difficult situations can generate significant stress. To manage this effectively, develop strategies to cope with stress. Techniques like mindfulness, breathing exercises, and journaling can help you process difficult emotions and maintain a sense of calm.
Don’t Neglect Your Social Life
Helping others should not isolate you. Engage in social activities that bring joy and connection. Whether it’s spending time with friends, attending social events, or simply relaxing with loved ones, maintaining your social life will keep you balanced and help you maintain perspective.
Know When to Step Back
Sometimes, the best way to help is by knowing when to step back. If the situation is overwhelming or the person you’re helping is not responding positively, it’s okay to take a break. This allows you to re-center yourself before re-engaging. Stepping back isn’t a failure, it’s a way to preserve your energy and mental health for the long term.
Reflect on Your Efforts
It’s easy to get caught up in the daily routine of helping others, but it’s important to take a moment to reflect on the impact you’re making. Recognize your efforts and give yourself credit for the positive difference you are making in others’ lives. This can also help prevent feelings of burnout or frustration when things don’t go as planned.

Helping others is rewarding, and it’s essential to take care of yourself along the way. By recognizing your own needs, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support you can continue to help others without losing sight of your own well-being. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup – taking care of yourself ensures that you can continue to be there for others.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a friend or colleague who’s going through a tough time takes kindness, empathy, and patience. By being attentive to the signs, offering a compassionate ear, providing support, and gently guiding them toward professional help, you can make a meaningful difference in their healing process. Remember, the power of support lies in the small, consistent actions we take. Reach out to someone today, whether through a simple text, a heartfelt conversation, or helping them take the next step towards getting help they need. Your support could be the turning point they need. Just as important, don’t forget to prioritize your own well-being while offering support to others – self-care is key to sustaining your ability to help.

Keep spreading those PAWSitive vibes!

Please note that the information provided in this blog post is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional therapy or mental health treatment.

Reference

This article was written by Dr. Yelena Oren and originally published in the March 3, 2025 Nevada PAW newsletter.

For more information on the Nevada PAW Society and the great work they do, visit their website at https://www.nevadapawsociety.org

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